Unreasonable fatigue, distracted attention, a depressed look, a dull look - when we notice these signs in a familiar person day after day, we understand that he is in a state of depression. But there are several phrases that in no case can be said to people with depression.
10. “You have so many things to be thankful”
A person can possess all the external benefits and seem very successful, while inside he can feel oppressed and devastated. Moreover, your acquaintance is now not in a condition to feel appreciation and gratitude to fate. He thinks that the state of depression will remain with him forever. But it is very important for such a person to realize that depression is actually being successfully treated, and your task is to convince him of this. Offer him ways to deal with melancholy and support him in the desire to fight it.
9. “Others are worse”
When your loved one hears such a phrase, he will immediately begin to experience a tremendous sense of guilt and shame in front of the very people who find themselves in a worse situation than himself. Such a replica can only aggravate the condition of people who are depressed. It is insanely difficult for a person with his own pain to feel the pain of another. Your loved one needs to understand that you will support him and stay close, and he does not care about other people at all. Therefore, it’s definitely not worth reproaching a person with depression.
8. "Life in general is unfair ..."
When you utter such a phrase, you are trying to convey to a person with depression that you share his pain with him and feel about the same as him. However, in reality, you cannot get into the head of your acquaintance and feel his woeful condition on yourself. Plus, the fact that you can be bad too can only drive a person into a melancholy state even more. A good alternative can be a simple friendly hug and comprehensive support to a friend. It will bring a little warmth and joy to his life.
7. “You are too sensitive”
Such a replica can promise nothing but low self-esteem. Instead of analyzing your condition and drawing conclusions from it, your friend will begin to consider himself too weak and broken. Such self-digging can ultimately lead to an even more deplorable mental state. Instead of pointing to a person about the weaknesses of his character, try every day to pay attention to him and give new emotions. Go to the cinema, cafe, amusement park together and try to make your friend smile more often.
6. "I know, it was the same with me!"
A person who has never been truly depressed cannot know what it really is. Do not confuse depression with a bad mood, frequent depression and longing. According to psychotherapists, people even in our time do not have a sufficiently clear idea of this disease. If you say this, then you create the illusion that being depressed is a normal condition that can happen to everyone. On the contrary, you can openly admit to a friend that you do not know how he goes through all this. But add that you are ready to support him.
5. “Just be happy.”
You are trying to set a friend to positive thinking, and that would be correct, but only such a statement is very unsuccessful. Psychologists say that cognitive therapy aimed at replacing bad thoughts with good ones is actually very effective. But it’s impossible to immediately replace negative with positive. The point is that you are proposing to simply change a person’s train of thought in depression, but in reality you need to change not thoughts, but actions. Your friend should not tell himself that he is well, he should take real steps to make him feel better. And your task is to be near and help him take these very steps.
4. Have a drink!
A friend whom you propose to forget when intoxicated can really take this advice. But there is a risk that strong drinks, indeed each time saving a person from negative thoughts, may become a habit. Drinking alcohol over and over, your loved one may lose control. As a result, alcohol will cease to help, but depression will not go away, only more health problems and bad habits will be added to it.
3. "Just put up with it."
If a person is in a state of depression, he is well aware of this, but does not turn to specialists and does not make any attempts to deal with such a condition, which means that he has already reconciled so long ago. And the best thing you can tell a friend in this situation is that you will always be in touch and ready not only to talk about his condition, but also to support. If it’s really bad, you can look for a psychologist or psychotherapist who can professionally help get rid of depression.
2. Think of loved ones who worry about you!
Such a phrase can only add to the depressive state of a person a sense of anxiety for relatives. He will think about how much pain he causes to loved ones, and depression will only worsen in the end. The friend will have a feeling of guilt before everyone who suffers because of him. Instead, try to gather all the people who are worried about your mutual acquaintance, and arrange for a person several unforgettable days in the company of loved ones. This will give him confidence that he is not alone.
1. “Cheer up! Life goes on!"
Many people who have experienced depression say that it’s like living with a granite slab inside. A person wants to get up and start moving in any direction, but literally cannot do this because of a feeling of heaviness. Therefore, your friend is simply unable to suddenly stop thinking negatively and run towards a beautiful life without depression. This is a long and difficult journey. If it were so easy to move on and forget about depression, believe me, your acquaintance would have done that a long time ago. Give your friend hope that the time is not far off when everything will work out. Psychologists say that the main task of loved ones is to constantly be around and cheer up a person with depression.